Red Sox I Hate #25: Jon Lester

Is it just a coincidence the member of the Red Sox I find the least objectionable is also the team’s purest talent? Hardly. One of my longstanding complaints about the Sox and, more specifically, a huge chunk of their fan base (present company excluded) is the Nation’s near-fetishistic elevation of grit, gumption and gamesmanship over God-given ability.

“Our boys aren’t a traveling team of All-Stars," the Nation likes to say, perhaps in response to the franchise’s recent spat of success, and, yes, spike in payroll. “They’re local boys made good, dirty overachievers, every last one of them.” To a man, then, the scrappy, small market Sawx are marketed and celebrated as the lunch-pail antithesis of their more polished counterparts in Pinstripes, as evidenced by the Nation's near-veneration of Peddy’s dirt-stained uniform, Youk’s unkempt ‘stache and Tek's hard-earned, and Citgo-sized C.

Such over-the-top devotion almost makes it impossible for a non-Sox fan to appreciate the natural brilliance of Jon Lester. Almost. Lester's talent, a once-in-a-generation gem, still manages to shine through all that dirty water.  

Drafted in the second round of the 2002 amateur draft, Lester rocketed through the Sox’s minor league system, making his major league debut four years later, in 2006. He became the first lefty rookie in Sox history to win his first five decisions, including a 1-0 win over the Kansas City Royals in which he pitched eight innings of a one-hit ball. 

A few moths later, though, Lester’s baseball career almost came to end, when he was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, the bad Hodgkin's. After a number of rounds of chemotherapy, Lester was pronounced cancer free, and was assigned soon thereafter to the Sox’s minor league affiliate to start his long road back. He returned to the Majors on July 23 against the Cleveland Indians, a 6-inning win. He finished the 2007 regular season with a 4-0 record in 11 starts and a 4.57 ERA. In the playoffs, Lester had two relief appearances in Cleveland before starting Game 4 of the World Series against the Colorado Rockies. My sources tell me the Red Sox won, although the only thing I recall about that game was the news of Alex Rodriguez opting out of his contract.

On May 19, 2008, Lester pitched a no-hitter against the Kansas City Royals, one of my favorite non-Yankee baseball moments of all time. 

Reasons to Like Him:

He beat cancer and pitched a no-hitter within two calendar years. He’s also a lefty, with four quality pitches, most notably a powerful four-seamer and a killer hook. When on, he also sports a near-flawless delivery, as near to perfect as humanely possible.

In 2008, Major League Baseball presented him with Hutch Award, which recognizes a player who exemplifies the competitive fire of Fred Hutchinson, a former pitcher and manger who died of cancer at the age of 45, in 1964. Fittingly, Lester received most of his treatment at the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center, in Seattle, Wash., a 35-minute drive from his childhood hometown of Tacoma.

He's not Curt Schilling. 

Reasons to Hate Him:
A Larry Craig-like wide stance, and a Nugent-esque thirst for animal flesh, coupled with a 3.47 career strike out-to-walk ratio and a ridiculous 1.017 strike out-to-hit ratio against the Yankees.  

Overall Hate Rating:
Negligible. The kid’s as good as the game.

Yankees I Hate #22: Curtis Granderson

One of the better-rounded outfielders in the American League, Granderson came to New York on the heels of a very successful run with the Tigers. His 2007 season saw him crack the apparently-a-thing "20-20-20 club," reserved for ballplayers who have managed 20 triples, 20 homers, and 20 steals in a single season. He continued to hit for average until 2009, when he sacrificed contact for power, hitting 30 homers and becoming an all-star despite hitting under .250. I wish I could say that the Yankees gave him a fat contract to lure him away from Detroit, but the fact is he came by what looks to me like a pretty shrewd trade: the Yankees parting with various useful players, but no one that would've defined the team; and they brought in a guy who is going to be a thorn in my side for what looks like a long time. Granderson has the speed and on-base ability to bat leadoff, and gives them yet another player (I count eight) capable of hitting 20+ homers on a regular basis, especially in that launching pad of a stadium. As you can imagine, this is incredibly annoying.

Reasons to like him:
Granderson is a unique situation. Nothing would make me happier than to hate him, but it's really hard. He's outwardly affable, has never made any trouble, contributes to his team. He is an ambassador for MLB international, representing the game in far-flung locations like China and South Africa. He created a foundation, Grand Kids, that does outreach to inner city children and helps get troubled kids into school. Bud Selig wrote a letter to Granderson, thanking him for being a model citizen and saying "no one is better suited to represent our national pastime."

You can see my dilemma here. This is more or less unverifiable, but I also remember watching a telecast a few years ago when one of the announcers claimed that Jim Leyland, Granderson's then-manager with the Tigers, wanted him to marry his daughter.

Etc.

Reasons to hate him:

Well, he's talented, and plays for the Yankees. What do you want me to say? I have to be allowed to root against him in important situations. Plus I'm vexed that I can't hate him more.

The worst thing I can dig up is that he changed his uniform number, 28, to 14 so that Joe Girardi could start wearing it. The reason being that Girardi wants to symbolize the Yankees' pursuit of a 28th championship. Come on, that's really lame. No, it is.

I can hear you objecting that it wasn't his idea, and this shows a team-first mentality. But it's still lame.

Overall hate rating:

2 out of 10. I reserve the right to increase this if he does anything that really ruins the Red Sox' hopes, which seems all too possible.

Alexander's Sack of Bradenia

I can't help but wonder how this latest A-Rod kerfuffle affects his position on your list. Personally, I'm just relieved, in this rare instance, A-Rod, the Sultan of Slap, comes off as the more level-headed combatant. Me thinks Dallas Braden's raised hackles would give even Billy Martin pause. 

(Brilliant image via Flip Flop Fly Ball)

BEN:

I don't want to spoil what's ahead, but since I'm counting from the least-hated to most, let's put it this way: it'll be a while before I get to A-Rod in these rankings.

As far as this baseball non-story goes, sure, I'll side with Dallas Braden. I mean, no one cares, but this is the exact kind of thing A-Rod gets wrong so consistently: little, petulant things that annoy people. This happens all the time in the baseball media, these attempts to codify the game's unwritten rules, who can throw what at whom, and when. The fact is, there's a lot of gray area here, and if you want to say something bad about either of these guys, the material is there. 20 years ago, or even five, we wouldn't even be talking about this. People do annoying things, people overreact, life goes on. But, since we're here, yes--I do think A-Rod should've gone around, or better yet, turned back once the play was dead. Why did he keep running to third? He's always had immature mannerisms, little cues that make him hard to like (for those trying), and they are in evidence in the video of the incident. I'm glad it happened, if only to get us that brilliant graphic, but I'm ready to move on, at least until I get higher up the hate-meter.

Yankees I Hate #23: Sergio Mitre

Mitre has the distinction of being the lowest-ranked (ie least hated) Yankee who was on the team last year. Why? Well, for starters, he was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for Andro (the steroidlike substance famously abused by Mark McGwire in the epic 1998 home run chase with Sammy Sosa). Mitre appeared in 12 games in '09, making nine starts, and was a not-particularly-passable fifth starter who got left off the postseason roster. He returns for 2010 in relief duty, primarily so he can use up pointless innings. He pitched reasonably well in his only appearance so far this year, giving up a run on two hits in 2 1/3 innings, while the Yankees were losing by 5 runs to the Rays. Everyone in America is basically fine with this.

Reasons to like him:

You don't run across that many Mexican-Americans in the majors, even though the league has a large Hispanic population. So that's nice. He also was the very welcome spot starter whose arrival coincided the decline of Chien-Ming Wang, a Yankee I was just getting started on really not liking at all. You don't want to wish ill on a man's livelihood, but when you're a baseball fan you also kind of do. Anyway I was extremely not looking forward to 200 innings of Wang's weird give-up-a-hit-and-then-get-a-double-play tactics frustrating the hell out of me. So, sure, welcome aboard, Sergio.

Reasons to hate him:

Well, he did take steroids. But so did everyone. And he took them while he was trying to recover from famously difficult surgery--a Tommy John operation on his shoulder. It is slightly hinky that he served his 50 game suspension while still on the disabled list from Tommy John surgery. But that's Bud Selig's fault as much as anyone's, for having such a porous anti-drug policy.

Honestly? That's about all I can think of. This is not a player most Sox fans really think about.

Overall hate rating:

2 out of 10. I mean, who has time? The Red Sox are 4-9, and I have bigger fish to fry.

Yankees I Hate #24: Marcus Thames

A seemingly-recent prospect who is somehow already 33 years old, Thames famously hit a home run, off future Hall of Famer Randy Johnson, on the first pitch of his first major league at bat. He has of course never lived up to that potential, routinely letting pitches go by without hitting them for home runs off future Hall of Famers. (Zing.) But speaking more broadly, it's pretty safe to say that Thames, who broke in with the Yankees and has since played most of his career in backup roles for the Tigers, never realized his promise as a hitter. He's had a couple of years with 20+ homers but is otherwise a prototypical bench player: solid defense, a little speed, situational power. I wouldn't write home about him if he came to the Red Sox; but I could see myself texting someone.

Reasons to like him:
His last name is pronounced something like "Tims," unlike the London river of same spelling, which is more like "Tems." Noted WFAN sports radio caller Jerome from Manhattan somewhat memorably pronounced the name "Thaymes," during one of his amusingly infantile rants. Tough to assign points for why this is enjoyable, but I've always liked it. Thames is toolsy without ever getting in anyone's way, and according to Wikipedia his nickname is Slick. All good stuff in my book.

He is much inspired by his mother, who was paralyzed in a car accident in 1982.

Reasons to hate him:
Hit a monster home run off Daisuke Matsuzaka in 2008. I'm too busy to go around hating everyone who's done something good against Dice-K, though.

Overall hate rating:
None, really. Carries himself well, plays baseball, seems to be an upstanding guy. One of the few guys I could see being traded from New York to Boston without anyone feeling weird about it. Score: 1 out of 10.

Top Gun

We interrupt this broadcast with news that the New York Jets have acquired Santonio “It Wasn’t Me” Holmes from the Pittsburgh Steelers for a fifth round draft pick. Holmes, a former first round pick out of the Ohio State University, is a 26-year-old Super Bowl MVP fresh off a career best 79-catch, 1,248-yard season.

Like every Jets move this offseason, the Holmes acquisition is not without controversy. Holmes is a troubled talent, to say the least. In May 2006, he was arrested for disorderly conduct. A month later, he was changed with domestic violence and assault. Both misdemeanors were later dismissed. He was picked up again in 2008, this time for possession of marijuana. Because of this, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin benched Holmes for one game, although Holmes did bounce back in time to make one of the greatest catches in Super Bowl history. Second only to this. 

Holmes, who is known to be a little too friendly with digital cameras, will also likely have to sit out the first four games of the 2010 season for violating the National Football League’s substance abuse policy. His pending suspension goes a long way in explaining how the Jets were able to steal him for a fifth round pick. 

Holmes joins a roster of, umm, interesting characters. Fellow receiver Braylon Edwards is still dealing with some lingering legal issues, while Antonio Cromartie, the Jets’ recently acquired defensive back, has a O-line's worth of paternity suits pending against him and roughly seven times as many illegitimate kids as Tom Brady. 

Still, the addition of Holmes unquestionably makes the Jets a very dangerous team, like a barrel of gasoline. As ESPN points out, in a span of six months, the Jets receiving core has gone from Jerricho Cotchery, Chansi Stuckey and David Clowney to Edwards, Holmes and Cotchery. That’s quite an upgrade. Add to that the late-season emergence of Shonn Greene as the team’s No. 1 back, the promise of tight end Dustin Keller, the eventual return of Leon Washington, the ghost of LaDainian Tomlinson and a formidable offensive line, and you get a Jets offense more or less on par with the league’s best. The rehabilitating Mark Sanchez, a few months removed from an impressive playoff performance, must be eager to play with his new shiny toys.  

And then there’s that Jets defense. If the Jets can add a bona fide pass rusher, either through free agency or the draft, I very much like the team's chances of reaching the Super Bowl. As SI's Peter King notes:

the Jets are amazing. They've become a little like the old Raiders (we're afraid of taking no one on our team), a little like the Yankees (we'll sign anyone to win), and a little like the Dan Snyder Redskins (we love headlines!) in the last year. With any luck, they'll sign all-decade player Jason Taylor to be a designated pass-rusher by Wednesday. And with all the additions, they've retained their first- and second-round picks, 29th and 61st overall. If they don't implode, they're going to a damn good team.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. 

Yankees I Hate #25: Chan Ho Park

A fifteen-year veteran of the major leagues, Chan Ho Park has spent most of his career pitching harmlessly for the likes of the Dodgers, Rangers, and a fairly random assortment of National League teams. Once among the first wave of elite Asian pitchers to come to MLB, Park had three or four strong seasons, then became a solidly mid-rotation starter. It's not fair of me to say that he overachieved for 25% percent of his MLB career, but damn if that's not my opinion anyway. Park will be best remembered by this editor for serving up the valedictory home run to Cal Ripken Jr. in the 2001 All-Star Game. Ripken was in his final season, and far from deserving of an all-star spot, but it was nice for him to go out on a high note.

Reasons to like him:
Park was part of the years-long mediocrity of Texas' starting rotation, something I always somehow found amusing. He never had any meaningful run-in with the Sox, and seemed more or less content to do his thing outside the spotlight. All this being very decent of him. The Ripken homer was a stand-up thing to do, even if it's not perfectly clear that it was intentional in his only all-star appearance; and in his World-Series-losing 2009 campaign with the Phillies, he wore a much-loved beard.

Reasons to hate him:
The loss of the beard. Joe Girardi's me-too rule against facial hair in the Bronx is a little lame, and a little annoying, but I don't hold that against Park. He did (Park) turn down a $3m chance to stay with the Phillies midway through last year, which turned out to be neither popular nor smart--he's making a third of that now. Still, these are minor sins, barely visible in the scheme of things.

Overall hate rating:
Minimal. He seems to have a sense of humor about himself, solid veteran pitcher with a respectable public personality. I don't mind Park at all, maybe even like him a little bit. Score: 1 out of 10 on the anti-Yankee meter.