Yankees I Hate #23: Sergio Mitre

Mitre has the distinction of being the lowest-ranked (ie least hated) Yankee who was on the team last year. Why? Well, for starters, he was suspended for 50 games for testing positive for Andro (the steroidlike substance famously abused by Mark McGwire in the epic 1998 home run chase with Sammy Sosa). Mitre appeared in 12 games in '09, making nine starts, and was a not-particularly-passable fifth starter who got left off the postseason roster. He returns for 2010 in relief duty, primarily so he can use up pointless innings. He pitched reasonably well in his only appearance so far this year, giving up a run on two hits in 2 1/3 innings, while the Yankees were losing by 5 runs to the Rays. Everyone in America is basically fine with this.

Reasons to like him:

You don't run across that many Mexican-Americans in the majors, even though the league has a large Hispanic population. So that's nice. He also was the very welcome spot starter whose arrival coincided the decline of Chien-Ming Wang, a Yankee I was just getting started on really not liking at all. You don't want to wish ill on a man's livelihood, but when you're a baseball fan you also kind of do. Anyway I was extremely not looking forward to 200 innings of Wang's weird give-up-a-hit-and-then-get-a-double-play tactics frustrating the hell out of me. So, sure, welcome aboard, Sergio.

Reasons to hate him:

Well, he did take steroids. But so did everyone. And he took them while he was trying to recover from famously difficult surgery--a Tommy John operation on his shoulder. It is slightly hinky that he served his 50 game suspension while still on the disabled list from Tommy John surgery. But that's Bud Selig's fault as much as anyone's, for having such a porous anti-drug policy.

Honestly? That's about all I can think of. This is not a player most Sox fans really think about.

Overall hate rating:

2 out of 10. I mean, who has time? The Red Sox are 4-9, and I have bigger fish to fry.

Yankees I Hate #24: Marcus Thames

A seemingly-recent prospect who is somehow already 33 years old, Thames famously hit a home run, off future Hall of Famer Randy Johnson, on the first pitch of his first major league at bat. He has of course never lived up to that potential, routinely letting pitches go by without hitting them for home runs off future Hall of Famers. (Zing.) But speaking more broadly, it's pretty safe to say that Thames, who broke in with the Yankees and has since played most of his career in backup roles for the Tigers, never realized his promise as a hitter. He's had a couple of years with 20+ homers but is otherwise a prototypical bench player: solid defense, a little speed, situational power. I wouldn't write home about him if he came to the Red Sox; but I could see myself texting someone.

Reasons to like him:
His last name is pronounced something like "Tims," unlike the London river of same spelling, which is more like "Tems." Noted WFAN sports radio caller Jerome from Manhattan somewhat memorably pronounced the name "Thaymes," during one of his amusingly infantile rants. Tough to assign points for why this is enjoyable, but I've always liked it. Thames is toolsy without ever getting in anyone's way, and according to Wikipedia his nickname is Slick. All good stuff in my book.

He is much inspired by his mother, who was paralyzed in a car accident in 1982.

Reasons to hate him:
Hit a monster home run off Daisuke Matsuzaka in 2008. I'm too busy to go around hating everyone who's done something good against Dice-K, though.

Overall hate rating:
None, really. Carries himself well, plays baseball, seems to be an upstanding guy. One of the few guys I could see being traded from New York to Boston without anyone feeling weird about it. Score: 1 out of 10.

Yankees I Hate #25: Chan Ho Park

A fifteen-year veteran of the major leagues, Chan Ho Park has spent most of his career pitching harmlessly for the likes of the Dodgers, Rangers, and a fairly random assortment of National League teams. Once among the first wave of elite Asian pitchers to come to MLB, Park had three or four strong seasons, then became a solidly mid-rotation starter. It's not fair of me to say that he overachieved for 25% percent of his MLB career, but damn if that's not my opinion anyway. Park will be best remembered by this editor for serving up the valedictory home run to Cal Ripken Jr. in the 2001 All-Star Game. Ripken was in his final season, and far from deserving of an all-star spot, but it was nice for him to go out on a high note.

Reasons to like him:
Park was part of the years-long mediocrity of Texas' starting rotation, something I always somehow found amusing. He never had any meaningful run-in with the Sox, and seemed more or less content to do his thing outside the spotlight. All this being very decent of him. The Ripken homer was a stand-up thing to do, even if it's not perfectly clear that it was intentional in his only all-star appearance; and in his World-Series-losing 2009 campaign with the Phillies, he wore a much-loved beard.

Reasons to hate him:
The loss of the beard. Joe Girardi's me-too rule against facial hair in the Bronx is a little lame, and a little annoying, but I don't hold that against Park. He did (Park) turn down a $3m chance to stay with the Phillies midway through last year, which turned out to be neither popular nor smart--he's making a third of that now. Still, these are minor sins, barely visible in the scheme of things.

Overall hate rating:
Minimal. He seems to have a sense of humor about himself, solid veteran pitcher with a respectable public personality. I don't mind Park at all, maybe even like him a little bit. Score: 1 out of 10 on the anti-Yankee meter.

Yankees I Hate: An Original Series

Spring has come to New York. The cherry blossoms are in bloom, the line at the Shake Shack is filling up the webcam. Etc. And, like every year, I am really annoyed at the Yankees just for existing.

In these times we live in, hating a team can be just as confusing as rooting for one. Players come and go, occasionally from good to evil (and sometimes to irrelevant), but the fact that the Yankees are the bad guys remains, in my world, an inarguable fact.

With the new season underway, I think it's important that we Red Sox people get our ducks in a row. Just who are the worst Yankees, and who are the best (or least bad)? How does one explain the subtle differences that make Bernie Williams an ok guy but Paul O'Neill unbearable to look at?

These are the essential questions of being a fan.

So, over the next few weeks, You're Wrong About Everything will be ranking the Yankees from least hated to most, starting today. I will try to keep the gloves up, because I know Miles will be badgering me about the awfulness of Jason Varitek.

Stay tuned for the unveiling of the least-hated Yankee of 2010.